BBQ Texas style

Today the girls and I had the neighbors and some friends over for a BBQ.  It was nice to entertain again, it is something I have missed having people around socially.  

My neighbor Mike taught me a recipe to make home made BBQ Sauce to go along with out meal.

Ingredients:

• 2 Tbs. vegetable oil
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 1/2 cups ketchup
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• 1/3 cup sugar
• 1 Tbs. chili powder
• 1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper (or more if you like it hot!)

Directions:
Prepare all the ingredients so chop the onions and mince the garlic.
Heat up the oil on medium heat in a saucepan. Add the onion and garlic and cook for about 5 minutes, gently stirring. Add the ketchup, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, chili powder and cayenne (use more cayenne if you like it hotter).
Reduce the heat and simmer, partially covered, until the sauce has thickened slightly, about 20 to 30 minutes. Makes around 2 1/2 cups.

The Grill :)

Question #11

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?

Wow this is a tough one.  There is the way I want to answer, you know the way that I know is morally right, but then there is the the nature of gossip.  I really always try hard not to get caught up in it, but some times its so easy to sit and listen. While you are there listening there is that little voice in your head telling you, wow your life is not so bad comparison to theirs or well at least I don't have that going on in my life.  I can say with honesty that I have always minimized my continuation of gossip, but I do tend to listen ... just not tell it over again. I think that I would most likley listen to see the direction of the topic as well as the source of it. I would then interject with things that I know to be the truth about my friend as well as the unreliablity of the source and the distasteful nature of gossip.  

Question #10

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

I think that I am more worried about doing the right things. My friends have always called me the "conscious" of the group. By this they mean I always try to keep everyone in line and stop them/us from getting too out of control and doing something stupid that we would regret later. This is not to say that I don't have fun while I am out, I do! but I also tend to keep a clearer head that some of my other more rambunctious friends.

I want to do things right as well; but that is not always the case, so I tend to lean more to the just don't say anything at all so you don't rock the boat philosophy. This has had its perks and its drawbacks for me and is actually something that I have been totally rethinking lately, especially in regards to my personal life.
Professionally I think I will stick with the "keep my mouth shut" routine so I don't get fired again. :/

I have not always done the "right" thing and it has always weighed heavily on me when I have steeped over to the dark side for a night or two. I hate myself for having compromised my values, even if it was for the one I love. Mainly because he proved to be undeserving of said love, but also because it made me no better than those who had wronged me before.

But mainly I act like I do because I think doing something the wrong way is usually an easier and much less painful fix than having done wrong all together.

Question #9

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I can say with some honestly that I have not put forth much effort to steer the course of my life until recently. I have pretty much just gone with the flow of things, letting my interactions & relationships with other have a resounding effect on my life decisions.  For instance, I had always said that I was going to move to a large city (like New York, Atlanta or San Diego) after graduating from collage to life for a year just to say I did it.  To say that I survived living in a big city that is as I am from the county and it was/is truly questionable if I could.  Yet while in college I met Xavvov and fell in love, and since he was younger than me I stayed in Ames (where we went to college) waiting for him to graduate college rather than going off to a big city.  Yet when things ended for us, I had already established a career for my self in Ames as well as friend and a home so I didn't leave.  I stayed because it was familiar, comfortable and had no risk involved.  that is the key right there I think, I am afraid to take the risk to do something new.  That is why me packing up and moving to Texas came as such a shock to me and some of my other friends & family as well I think.  Tyhp seemed blown away that I was actually going to leave, well him.  I have regrets as far back as high school about the way I let other people control the things that I did, that I was not strong enough to stand up for myself.  I have just recently (last few days recent) decided that my usual stance of keeping my mouth shut/being polite and respectful needs to stop.Now I am and not saying I am going to start being a huge bitch and treating everyone I encounter with disrespect or disdain but some times things needs to be said and in the past I have let a lot of things slide because I don't want to upset the other party involved but it has always ended with me being used, manipulated or taken advantage of and I am fucking sick of it!! So watch out everyone, I am (well going to try to) take life by the horns and control my own destiny. 

Question #8

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I think that I would go out and do more, meet more people, be more active and see more of the world.  It is something I want to do any way, especially the travel part but I keep saying "maybe next year" or "well I need to save up more money first."  Of course with those things comes the inevitable crisis that takes up most or all of that savings.  I would hope that I would also learn to cherish those around me more, and not let friendships fade over time.

Question #7

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

This question intrigues me and think I have to say a little bit of both.  I like to think that I living my life by my values and beliefs (although I have fucked a few of those up recently but that is for another time), but I also know that I always expected more out of life.  And I am not really doing anything about going out there and getting that "more" I am kind of just living the life I have found my self in due to circumstances that have been some what out of my hands. 

Recently I have begun to question a lot of the preconceived notions I had about where my life is going & where I will end up.  I honestly don't know if I believe in love and happily ever after any more.  Now let me explain here for a second what I mean by "happily ever after", no I don't think a prince is going to come and sweep me off my feet to a beautiful castle and things will be just wonderful for the reminder of my life.  I know that love and relationships take work.  Lots of hard work to keep them alive and strong.  I am okay with that and will to put in the effort but the other half needs too as well.  I believe (or used to) that marriage was a team effort where two people were partners in life, helpmates, friends & lovers.  Now I think people just get comfortable and settle down then so they don't feel lonely.  The "love" you see in the movies and read about in books, it does not exist.  You can give your self heart, body and soul to someone and they will just turn their back on you and walk away like you never even existed.  I am slowly becoming resigned to my fate as a single girl who will never be married or have a family of her own. Not that the family thing was always my desire, only once in my life have I ever felt that I wanted to have kids, and not just have kids but have his kids.  It was crazy to me to feel that way as previous to that my entire life I had never even been interested in children of my own, at all.  Even when I was a little kid playing house with cousins I didn't ever talk about kids of my own. So that tells me that for me at least it was the real deal but it like all my other attempts at finding the one failed.  People tell me there are other fish in the sea and maybe some day I will cast my line out again but for now I am content (which is sad) to just let my pole sit and bob at my side with no bait on the hook.  So in the end I guess I am settling for what I am doing.

Question #6

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Being a house wife, even one with out kids.  I love to make the people I love happy.  I do for others simply because it will make them smile or make things easier on them.  Yes I tend to be disappointed because the same is never done in return for me but I can't seem to stop myself.  I would love to be in a relationship with someone who had a good enough job that I could work part time in my field of choice (social work) and not have to count every penny to get by.  To be able to work with kids to try and make their lives better and still be able to make a home for and with someone is my picture of true happiness.

Yeah I did it!

So I passed my test and have received my first sash in 8 Step Praying Mantis Kung Fu.

I am very proud of my self for having accomplished this feat, as I was sure I would not be able to complete the endurance portion of the testing.  I wish I still had my best friend to share in the celebration as he is the one to bring me into the art in the first place but he is no longer talking to me :( not really sure why. 

Anyway the test was as follows:

Bow in, begin endurance portion:

25 rocking push ups (aka the devil)

25 frog jumps

10 military push ups

100 of each of 8 punches

50 sit ups

25 leg lifts

20 hold of every stance in both directions.  

This completes the endurance portions

Material portion:

1st, 2nd & 3rd body coordination done at least 2xs (correctly) on both sides (so at least 4 times total)

1st. 2nd & 3rd kicking combination done at least 2xs (correctly) on both sides

quick succession of the transition between all 8 stances and then close and bow out.

This completes the testing of yellow sash ... and I did it!!

 My sash and certificate!

I honestly believed that I was going to face plant on my last rocking push up my arms were wobbling so bad I was not sure I would make it back up before they gave out.  I am glad that I have continued to learn the art even thought I moved and have begun training under a new sifu.  I do struggle at times with the changes in teaching methods but I hope to continue as long as I don't get too far behind.

Question #5

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
The media

Question #4

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I truly don't know how to answer this one.  Will I tell others that I have accomplished more that I really have? or Will I have talked the talk but never walked the walk??  I guess I could answer both ways, although could be totally misinterpreting the questions completely...

Will I tell others I have accomplished more than I have?
I would like to say that I truly would not do this, but then everyone tends to over expound on their accomplishments and I know I have been guilty of this in the past.  I can say that I have never taken credit for someones work, but maybe said I put more into something than I did.  I have had my ideas taken by another coworker and talked up as their own and I found that hurtful and so I have always endeavored to not make someone else feel that way. 

Question #3

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

 societal pressures & the media

Question #2

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Wow this is a tough one I have done both and they both suck!  Upon retrospection I would have to say never trying is worse.  Then you are left with all the "what if's" that plague you forever vs an experience to learn from. 

questions to free your mind

I got this idea from Marc & Angel Hack Life and I have decided to run with it.  I will post a question each day and answer it... I hope.  I can be a pretty big procrastinator as you all know.  I am doing this as part of my personal goal to get my life on track and to live for me.  I know I said that a while back but it has NOT been easy.  It is far simpler for me to fall back into old habits and put others needs/wants/desires ahead of my own.  I find it easier to do for others, making them happy, than it is for me to do for myself. 

I was proud of myself at least once in the last few weeks for putting me first.  I went back up north for my brothers wedding and spent a few days visiting my Iowa friends (miss you already guys!) and was blown off by Typh on Monday, the day he told me to set aside to hang with him, for another girl.  He then wanted to do something on Tuesday.  Normally I would have done so regardless of another plans I had just to see and be with him but I told him "No, I have lunch & dinner plans with some other friends.   You told me to set aside Monday and I did.  You chose to not see me but got out for coffee with Emily."  I could not belive I had it in me to do that!

Anyway back on track.  Today's question is: How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I feel that I have always been older than my age, I was always the motherly figure of the group even though I had no desires to be a mother myself. I have never partied hard or been the out of control one, I have often been tagged the "conscious of the group."  I threw some fantastic parties though!!  I think if I didn't know my age I would have to put myself at 30.  Old enough to know better but still young enough to have fun and occasionally not care! I know I am fast approaching that age personally and it scares me a bit to find my self so alone but hopefully with a bit of work on ME I will be more ready and willing to put myself out there to get over Typh and find Mr. Right.  I am not and have never been the type to feel incomplete with out a man in my life but I do enjoy the perks of being in a relationship.