Well I'm here Texas I hope your ready for this ...

Hope I am ready for this is more like it!

The day I move its 113 degrees with out the heat index.  Let me tell you unloading a 30ft cattle trailor in that heat was not fun.  Apparently it was a record breaking day ... figures I would move on the hottest friken day ever!

SO ... It's official I have moved, I didn't chicken out and stay in Iowa although let me tell you all it was a close thing.  I won't say that I am happier down here because I am not, but then I was not totally happy in Iowa any more either.  I am getting by, so far, but its only been 2 days.

In Iowa I felt like a stranger in what was my home for over 4 years and had really gotten the impression that I was not wanted.  I know its just me overreacting to past issues that I have but it made the last week or so a bit uncomfortable to say the least.  I feel really bad that I have left a few things behind but I will be back up north for the bro's wedding in a month and finish up. Plus I had to sit by and watch the man I love be with another girl and act like nothing was wrong with that.  I just could not do it any more and remain sane ... well relatively I don't know if you can be in my family and be totally sane. He asked me to stay, God that was the hardest conversation ever ... I cried, of course, and told him that I couldn't stay.  I did have the guts to tell him I love you before I left.  I had never done that before.  Yes he knew, others had felt it necessary to tell him and we had talked about my feelings but I had never spoken the words "I love you" out loud to him.  I wish that conversation had not been cut off but it was so I never got a real response from him (Thanks Quazy (littlest brother)) guess his response with always be a mystery what if for me.

I have had my first quasi fight with the new roommate (YaYa) two alphas in one house ... not sure how this is going to work out.  She is pissed that I had Gunner in my room to sleep at night as she does not want him in the house at all. She actually had the audacity to say to me "well I didn't make you get rid of him" like I would have moved here if I had to!! Some people, I mean really?!?  The problem is that the landlords husband is a bit of a dick and does not want animals and YaYa does not like them either, I told them both that I would transition him to an outside dog but that I would take time and that I was willing to pay the deposit for him.  YaYa has conveniently forgotten that conversation and states "you disrespect me by sneaking him into my house"  

First off : its my house not too, so get used to it

Second: I told you strait up from the moment you invited me down here, and every time that it has been talked about since that he is not an outside dog and to make him one will be a TRANSITION ... as in takes time!! 

But of course I am the bitch and didn't ever tell her that, just like I didn't say to her yesterday "I am going to go to Century21 tomorrow and sign the lease" so when I went today she got all pissy because she has been lying to them and now has to cover her own ass! GRRR

Well this was a giant jumble of thoughts ... hope you enjoy it. LOL  It felt good to get it out :)  Tomorrow I have decreed it a job search day.  I have the internet now (thank goodness I was going nuts) so I can start there and then head out when needed.  Getting a job ASAP is the number 1 priority at this point.

Things that annoy me...

People that live off the system their entire lives never contributing to society themselves and then procreating making more leaches for society. The fact that people who are physically and or mentally unable to care for themselves are able to have children at will drives me crazy!!! Children they will never be able to care for either due to their physical limitations or mental health. These children will then ultimately become wards of the state, where the tax payers will pay for them for their entire childhood and if the mental illness is hereditary their entire life will be paid for by the tax payers. What happened to Darwin's Law of Evolution?? The longer I am in the human services field the more I believe that maybe the Spartans had things right. Yeah I know that makes me a horrid person but I don't honestly know why our society allowed things to progress to the point where people who are unable to tend for themselves are allowed to have children at will?? Children they will never be able to care for on their own. I mean seriously, think about it this way a person must attend classes and obtain a license to do things like go fishing, hunting, drive a car or serve food but anyone can have a child when the responsibilities and consequences a having a child are much greater. I just don't get it!

I am sorry for that rant, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I am sure some people with judge me harshly for this view point but I don't really care. I think that having a child is a huge responsibility and yes it is a "God Given Right" but some people although are created in God's image are not able to function at a high enough level to care for a young child and so should not have one. If society had not reached a point in which people feel that if their child has special needs it is no longer their responsibility as a parent to care for that child, even when the child is an adult (because they still have special needs people) and families were still a functioning unit that helped and supported each other their entire lives then maybe I would feel differently. But I don't because many, I will even venture to say MOST, people/families don't operate that way. Society as whole feels that it is not their responsibility as a person to care but that it is the governmental job to take care of people with special needs. 

Do you people know why severe mental health issues are on the rise? Why there is such a huge increase in the number of people who require constant aid from an outside source and are unable to function on their owns even in their own homes let alone out in society? Because "Society" deemed state and federal mental health facilities as "unacceptable" and "deplorable" and "unethical" so many/most were shut down as funding was cut because people fears upsetting the masses and losing political backing aka campaign $. Now where are these people to live? At least when they were living in a home they were cared for, had others to socialize with and yes were not allowed to procreate. SO these debilitating conditions were not passed on!

Okay well I am done for now.  I apologise if I have seriously offended any of you, but they are just my  opinions so don't think about them too hard.  Okay??  

Side note: Do you know where the work "Okay" came from?  It originated in WWII when the solders would ask each other how their day went they would respond 0 (zero) K meaning Zero Kills that day and it eventually evolved into Okay. 

Sláinte

Kat

Getting lost in a world all my own...

Or rather one of someone else s imagination

I love to read, just ask anyone close to me or who have lived with me.  I have books everywhere, I talked my roommate (Typh) into building me a built in bookshelf in our living room so I could have room to buy more books! Although he has issues with follow through and perfectionism as in it/he always be right so needless to say it never got completed in the the two years he lived with me, although the parts of it are all over my house, until another friend (Woody) was visiting and finished it, well tried to Typh never cut all the pieces apparently and those he did cut were not even!!!  

see how the shelves are crooked & there are not enough to reach to top!!

 ANY WAY that is another story, well kind of, back to my books and new ones I have been reading lately.  I have been reading two different series from an author Karen Moning, she may be my new favorite (sorry Julia Garwood) 

This is my favorite of the Fae series I have read it 3 times already :)

Not only does it have the underlying love story, which you know I love, but it has a ton of Celtic history which I adore; Druids, Fae of both Light and Dark courts, Mystical Hallows of the Tuatha De Danann I mean what more can a girl as for!

There are two series one is the Fever series which follows the life of a MacKayla Lane as she searches for her sisters killer in a foreign city all while learning about her destiny as a sidhe-seer.  All 5 books are her narration of the on going escalation between the human realm in which we live and the hidden realm of the Fae that is here with us but not seen.  The second series is the Highlander series in which many back stories of characters you meet in the Fever series are told.  Unlike the Fever books, each Highlander book is a "stand alone" romance about different couples although there are many shared characters between them all. Although I enjoyed the Highlander series, they are not what I would call "have to read again & again books" but knowing me I will.  The Fever series on the other hand just sucks you in and you can't stop reading.  I am SO SO glad I stumbled on to them after they had all been released, I don't know what I would have done if I had had to wait a year or so for the next book to come out as I have very little patience. 

The best thing I love about reading is that I am able to get lost in a world that is not my own.  For a brief period of time I am able to forget about my issues which sadly are numerous and live in a world of fantasy, magick, love and romance.  Seeing as how I don't have many of those things in my real life its nice to lose myself in them when I can.  

Well I hope you all take the time to check out some of these books, and enjoy them as much as I do.  Comment back and let me know what you think.

Your mission should you choose to accept it ...

Is to move to Texas to get away from all the chaos you have created in your life.  Although truthfully I don't feel that I have done it all on my own I had a ton of help! I first made the decision to move way back in  early January, my cousin had been asking me for nearly a year and my life was some what in shambles so I figured "why the hell not?"

I quickly had second, third and even 4th 5th & 6th thoughts, talking my self out of and back into going many times over in the next few months.   February made it very hard to want to leave Iowa as things began to get better with Typh and I was happily lost in the oblivion of my own fantasies once more.  From just around valentines till st. patty's day I had decided to not go to Texas and to stay in Iowa.  I applied for two different promotions at my new place of work, well new as of November, and began looking at apartments in the Des Moines area.  Then shit hit the fan and my entire world came crashing down around me (more details in a later post) and I once again was firmly on the moving side of the fence.  So Texas here I come .... Hope you are ready for me :)

I will be moving to a small little town called Seguin, which turns out has a ton of family history for the Degner's. Close to San Antonio for job opportunities and only a few hours from Houston which is where my Dad & little bro (Quazy) are living as well as the rest of my Dad's immediate family. We will have a nice 3 bedroom house with a fenced in back yard for Gunner, he is not supposed to be in the house, but I am going to see if I can talk my way around that.  Its so HOT down there and he is a long haired dog, the poor guy!!  I am thinking about getting a job outside of the human services field as I am pretty burnt out right now, bartending would be a nice gig for a while.  I loved it before :) I could also waitress, we will see what happens I will keep you all informed.  

Well that is all I have for now, sorry its been so long.  I have like 10 topics started just not finished or posted in the last few months.  Went a long while with out a computer :(